Coaching Boys in to Men

The boys in your life need your time and energy to grow into healthy young men. Boys are swamped with influences — from friends, the neighborhood, TV, the Internet, music, and movies. They hear lots of things about what it means to "be a man" — often that they have to be tough and in control. These messages are harmful.

Boys need your advice on how to behave towards girls. Boys are watching you and how you relate to other men and to women. Teach boys, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship.

Teach early: It's never too soon to talk to a child about violence. Talk with him about what it means to be fair, share, and treat others with respect.

Be there: Just being with boys is important. They want and need good male role models around them.
Listen: Hear what he has to say. Listen to how he and his friends talk about girls. Is he worried that any of his friends are hurting someone else?

Tell him how: Teach him ways to express anger without violence. When he gets mad, he can walk it out or talk it out. Let him know he can always come to you to talk.

Bring it up: Boys won't ask for help on how to treat women, but they need it. Try watching TV with him or listening to music and talking. Be sure he knows treating girls with respect is important.

If something about your relationship scares you or you are worried about your children and you need to talk, call us.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TTY 1-800-787-3224)

Help is available in English and Spanish and many other languages. All contact with the hotline is free and confidential.